Gutter Ball

The phone rang three times before I could put down my coffee and fumble past the various kitchen obstacles that seemed to be guarding the receiver. The voice on the end of the line was that raspy, lagging voice of yet another salesperson. They asked if I had Comcast, I did. Was I satisfied with my service, I was. I then foolishly agreed to respond to a quick survey that would only take a second. Fifteen minutes later the surveyor asked me one final question. What was the least interesting program provided by their service? After only a few seconds of deliberation, I settled on the most baffling program I could think of: professional bowling.

A few days previous to the call I had been sitting in a sushi bar that had a big screen TV hanging from the ceiling. Directly after the food was ordered I began to watch as 40 year old men strapped on wrist braces and oddly colored shoes for what appeared to be the world championship of bowling. "This should be comical," I thought to myself. However, as the frames progressed from strike to turkey, then another strike to another turkey, I quickly realized that these were men who made very few mistakes. At least when it came to knocking things over from a distance.

I wish I could have said the same for myself as I threw my fourth gutter ball in a row. My girlfriend and I had decided to go with a few friends to the local bowling alley, shortly after our ritual sushi indulgence.

If there is one thing I love about my girlfriend, its that she is very good at everything I know how to do, and even better at the things I cant seem to do. Bowling appeared to be no exception. She smiled innocently as she bowled her second and third strikes, easily placing her in the lead. My best friend played the role of mediator between our drastically contrasting scores. What had happened? Why was I unable to do what I needed to do in order to be successful? I felt foolish at first, grossly inadequate. I simply could not seem to bowl a decent shot. However, toward the end of the game I began to improve my shots as best I could. It appeared that I was going to be able to stop the bleeding, or at least slow it down.

Why the change? How was it done? The formula for making a change toward success is practically the same no matter the subject or task. In life, and specifically in my spiritual walk with the Lord, I had learned what it meant to throw gutter balls. I had become more than just acquainted with spiritual failures. Therefore, I had learned how to get past them in life and how to climb out of very deep holes. I had learned what it was to pursue holiness in spite of weakness. I knew what it was to fail, and what it was to truly succeed. The first step toward true success when facing failure is to define the terms.

Gutter Ball: a moral or spiritual failure in the face of temptation, trial, or otherwise difficult human circumstance. I.E- to commit a sin, particularly when you would really like to do the right thing.

Before this process is addressed further, it is critical that we make an important observation and distinction regarding what the Scripture teaches about sin, man, and the regenerate condition as opposed to the unregenerate condition of mankind. Romans 8:7-8 states- "For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God."

Those who currently exist solely in the flesh, those who have not truly trusted in Jesus Christ to save them from their sin, and who have not therefore been filled by the Holy Spirit cannot conquer the sin in their lives. They will ultimately roll gutter balls far more often than they will ever hit pins. In fact, this verse actually states that in God's eyes those who are not in Christ cannot ever please Him, no matter what the carnal man may think is charitable, kind, or selfless here on earth. The carnal man simply cannot truly succeed against sin. Many scholars of this passage explain the concept by comparing an unregenerate man's works of "righteousness" to silken sins. Their best works are dead works in the sight of a Holy God.

Thankfully, the scripture continues on through verses 9-11- "You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to Him. But if Christ is in you, although your body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you."

It is clear that those who trust in Christ and are therefore filled with the Spirit have a new kind of power over the flesh, the temptation to sin, and death. Verse 13 says: "For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live."

The observation that must be made simply follows: success against sin and personal wickedness in life cannot be achieved whatsoever outside of the grace given by Jesus' sacrifice and the consequential indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

With that in mind, the next step is to welcome the Holy Spirit into your life and keep Him there. That's right. Him. He is a person, the third person of the Trinity. Never make the mistake of thinking He is simply some impersonal force or something out of Star Wars. He is your guest in your heart, make Him welcome. How is this done? It certainly seems complicated, deep, beyond anything an average American man or woman could possibly do on a regular basis, and yet the Word tells us that He is the only way to walk now that we have been saved and made anew.

I noted earlier that there is a consistent formula for success in all areas. Such a statement may sound farfetched, but the three keys are actually widely agreed upon. They are Constant Attention, Focus, and Repetition.

As I was bowling, I realized that I had to pay serious and constant attention to everything I was doing in regards to the mechanics of a decent bowling shot. Eyes on the pin, thumb strait, correct footing, etc. In short, I had to be acquainted with the basics, the essentials of bowling success. The same principle applies when dealing with sin, temptation, and death in your spiritual life. Constant Attention to the Word of God is necessary in order to maintain the Spirit's presence in one's life, by which one successfully puts to death one's own wickedness. This means careful, daily study of His Word in order to be in the right mindset, fully prepared for the tricks of the devil.

The second key is Focus. What is the difference between Focus and Constant Attention? Focus here refers to the practical implementation of the basics that were learned through the discipline of Constant Attention. Now that we know what to do, we must set our hearts and minds upon doing it. Prayer and time spent before the Lord is our only source of strength here. Even Paul, in desperation regarding his own inability to do what he desired to do for the Lord cried out "O wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from this body of death?" He goes on to simply praise Jesus Christ for redeeming his soul, even as he struggles within his body while on earth. Nonetheless, focus is the key to doing that which ought to be done. Discipline is the requirement of a life submitted to a Holy God.

The third and final key is repetition. Once I had bowled one good shot, I knew that I had the ability to bowl others. Frame after frame, I was able to consistently hit the pins because I fully understood the essentials of what I was doing. Also, the confidence to move forward was provided by previous successes while implementing those essentials. Making Spirit driven decisions to the glory of God is exactly the same. An act of obedience taken in faith is always safe. Our God is a God of promises, the chief of which is His promise to protect those who walk in paths of righteousness in His name.

It is worth noting that a life of holiness is essentially Caught not Taught. It is a Spirit driven rhythm, so to speak, in which all things are possible in Heaven and on Earth. To break the rhythm by neglecting any of the three keys is to ensure moral and spiritual failure. An utter absence of the inner rhythm is the sign of an unregenerate, unsaved man, on his way to everlasting death.

We must always remember that we, who are saved by GRACE, do not depend upon our works to save us. They are what we are saved for, but they are not the means by which we are saved. That task has always been reserved for Christ alone, beaten and killed for us upon the cross of Calvary. It is there, and there alone that the debt was paid. Ours is simply to accept His work as accomplished, our sin paid in full.

We have been saved by GRACE. God's Riches At Christ's Expense. No matter our gutter balls, Jesus has given us the victory.

Waves

So I just graduated from high school about 2 1/2 months ago.  I am in that weird gap between high school and college.  Its funny, when I wake up each morning it often feels like I am somehow missing a massive amount of frivolous worksheets to fill out.  Yet I can't say Im really complaining.  

One of the many benefits of this curricular gap is the amount of time that I have had to travel all around the country.  Nearly three weeks of traveling has led me from coast to coast, I have spent time in both the atlantic and the pacific ocean within the last month.  As a natural consequence I have spent plenty of time body surfing, or at least something that resembles body surfing.  Now if you have ever done it, you know what I am talking about when I speak of the power and the majesty of oceanic waves.  

One of the most interesting places to be on planet Earth is about fifty yards out from the sand on any given beach.  As I was floating around out there I was reminded of the oldest game of chicken ever played.  As I looked out into the horizon I could see the waves forming as "sets" in the distance.  It appears that the good ones come in sets of three.  As I watched the the waves come closer, gain speed, form, and eventually break right on top of me, I was reminded of something very serious that had been going on in my life at this point.  

Being in the ocean is much like being in a relationship with the Lord.  If your wondering how that is so, then lets take a look at it together.  

As I sat in the waves I realized that life with Jesus is advanced by the same process as body surfing.  Each of us was on the beach at one point.  All have at least played with the idea of getting in the water to experience the waves, yet only some actually get in. The same is true with Jesus.  Everyone has an opinion about what He is like, yet only a few actually know by experience.  

Yet for those that do get into the water,  a few things will become clear about the waves.  The first reality that is presented when in the water is the terror of the wave.  Although it starts small and inviting in the distance, with time and commitment the wave begins to reveal its true nature to those who dare to face it.  It is massive. It is powerful. It is entirely in control of the situation. It dictates the terms of the mans survival.  A man must be willing to live on the terms of the wave or the man will not live at all.  Jesus demands nothing less of those who would dare to meet and follow Him.  It is recorded in Matthew's account that Jesus said "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever would lose his life for my sake will find it."  

Christ is giving us the terms of our survival.  Either He is given full control, or we will clearly lose our lives.  The battle that had been tossing and turning within me was essentially one of control. Was I going to give my plans to the Lord knowing full well that He might dismiss them? Even my plans for ministry? It took an act of submission to His terms to release my plans into His control and authority.  Yet if I do not do that in every area, I am divinely guaranteed failure and ultimately death.  I will lose my soul if I do not submit it entirely.  There is a true cost to following Christ.  It means my money, it means my plans for my girlfriend or wife, it means my sins, it means my plans with and for my friends and loved ones, it means His agenda is now my only agenda.  It means His will is now my will.  There is a cost, and it is everything.  

The second similarity presented by the wave is its manifold, awe inspiring beauty.  As the wave gets closer to the man it begins to form take shape.  Its beauty is clearly displayed when it reaches its apex, which is usually right on top of the one who is in the water.  Having submitted to its power, the man is now free to enjoy its beauty as he rides it wherever it to take him.  

Jesus Christ is the same.  When given full reign, He will do amazing things in the world.  Lives will change. Restoration and healing are the products of His love.  Whole families will be rebuilt, and those without strength or wisdom will be given both in abundance.  For those that are lost and confused, His truth will guide them.  For those without the power to defeat their sins, Christ will supply all of the power needed from His very name.  

Yet for all of these glorious truths of His love, they will only be given to those willing to get up from the sand and into the sea.  

May we never again set foot on dry land.  

Verses

If there is one thing that is gross about being in public its the public restrooms.  Even my favorite stores tend to do a bad job at keeping them clean enough for the sanitary few who are forced to use them.  As unpleasant as a trip to the public restroom can be, I often look forward to the short experience.  This may seem strange, but I love finding surprises in the stalls.   Quickly, before your mind travels to disgusting images of what I might mean here, let me say that I do not mean gross surprises.  

What I look forward to is the ever increasing collection of phrases and advice that is scratched into or drawn on the walls of the stalls.  Recently, I was in a stall at my favorite bookstore when I read "grab life by the balls". I didn't totally get it,  in fact it sounded painful, but I had a feeling that whoever wrote it wasn't one for caution anyway.  Other bits of info on the walls included phone numbers for drugs or sex, and even a poem about how life was all about money and the ability to get enough of it.  

Throughout all my time spent in stalls, I have concluded that what is written within them is a fairly accurate representation of what mankind essentially believes to be true.  Whether the authors are calling for African aid or pushing hate and lustful passion, the dirty documents stand as reminders of what mankind has come to.  

Yet sometimes I see writing on the walls that is of an entirely different nature.  The small words and numbers  on the door often stand out to me due to their relatively unassuming size and look. In fact, these little bits of graffiti don't even say anything at first glance, they are merely citations. "psalm 27:14" one might say.  "proverbs 28:26" might be another.  To the average person these citations most likely mean next to nothing.  Yet to me, they are everything.  

Unlike the rest of the writing that people come up with, these citations on the wall are actually references to the Word of God.  The citations are from scripture.  Mankind loves to come up with advice about how to live life.  The evidence is on the walls of the stalls and in the brokenness of the culture.  Just as the verses say "whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered"(Proverbs 28:26.) 

These verses have proven themselves true in my life time and time again.  The world and its foolish thinking strives to produce advice for me to live by, yet the world's  advice is not based upon the truth of the Word of God.  Just as the mind was created by God it was also created for God.  G.K  Chesterton would say that to have an open mind is good, yet the purpose of an open mind is to shut it upon something solid.  The world does not base its thinking upon absolute truth and therefore advises strategies and tactics for living that run opposite the grain of the ultimate reality: God.  A strong understanding of theology is the key to wisdom on earth.  The only way to a strong theology is a strong understanding of the scriptures.

There in lies the great fork in the road.  Men must choose who will win the great battle of their mind: Scripture V.S  Advice.  The difference between the two is eternally significant.  Contrary to worldly understanding, scripture always tells us that we are helpless to fix our own lives! In fact it tells us to do the one thing we do not want to do: "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"(psalm 27:14.)  Yet it is so true! Whenever my life seems to be spiraling out of control or my tactics seem to be failing I am simply left with scripture, and the fact that I have been neglecting it.  

On the other hand, whenever I deliberately follow the truth of scripture the end is always ok! There are many days I wish that it were not so, there are many days that I wish that my plans and desires would simply fall into place.  There are times that I think my advice is just as good or even better than what the Bible may have to say, only to be reminded of proverbs 30:5-6: "Every Word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar." 

As we live our lives by either scripture or advice, we shall soon see the writing on the wall. 

Dish Washer

I came home from church one morning feeling absolutely wonderful. Spirit filled is really a better way to put it.  As I walked through the door, I could see my kitchen sink full to the brim with dishes and cups, pots and pans.  It felt like the Spirit jumped right out of me.  I couldn't help but ask the questions of  "Who did this? How did these get here?" and the like.  I sort of dropped my bible and pen on the table as I approached the mountain of crusted cheese and unidentifiable scum that had accumulated on the various dishes.  

I looked out the window as the sink filled with the warm soapy water I would need to accomplish the task before me.  Taking the first glass in hand I began to pick and scrub off the red substance that seemed to have bonded itself onto the cup eternally.  Slowly but surely the glass became clean.  As I held it up to the window, I could see the beautiful prisms of light shining through it in clarity and radiance.  

The pile of dishes shrank as I continued to wash.  Not too far into the process I could feel my self being filled with the Spirit again.  As I was washing,  I began to understand the beautiful symbolism of what was happening.  I began to imagine what it must feel like for God as He cleanses us from our sins, as dirty, as numerous and as stubborn as they are.  

Just as man designed and created the drinking glass, so God has designed and created us.  The Word says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  As I was cleaning my dishes, I delighted in their beauty and design.  I was made glad by their being restored to their original and undefiled condition.  I took great joy in restoring them.  

God is the same.  He loves to restore us (His creation) to our original condition.  He loves to wash us with the blood of His son that we might be cleansed and renewed completely. He will not stand for anything to remain upon His creation that He has not placed there Himself. No blemish, no mark, no personal passion or vice.  He takes joy only in restoring us entirely.  God does not do halfway jobs.  We know this because He is both the Author and Finisher of our faith.  

As I kept washing I could not stop until the pile no longer existed.  I had to get the job done.  In the same way I know that God never begins a work only to leave it unfinished.  I find it very encouraging to know that God will never leave me halfway done.  I will never be left in a pile of divinely unfinished business.  Never left to rot in my imperfection and dirt.  

I can't clean myself, and so God takes great joy in cleaning me that His light and glory might shine forth when he holds me up to the sky.  

Stop Trippin, Start Walkin.

My friend and I were eating lunch together the other day at our school.  This is a guy who I have essentially grown up with. This is the same guy that I witnessed come to Christ just a few years ago.  We are pretty close friends.  Anyway, we were sitting outside under an awning because it was a really hot day. If you know me,  you know I dislike this part of the year because of that. The heat never seems to agree with my preference of clothing.  I am definitely not a fan of shorts.  So as we ate our food and discussed life in general, my friend said something that caught my ear.  Specifically, we had been discussing the Christian life as it relates on the ground level: the living of it.  

Sure, the whole thing seems wonderful and easy in your mind.  The trouble begins when the rubber is forced to meet the road.  Matt was talking about how so many people misunderstand the Christian life in its practical terms, which he pointed out is the source of their spiritual discomfort and inhibition.  

He looked at me and said "People need to stop trippin', and start walkin'." At first this made me laugh.  The use of such an urban metaphor seemed funny for such an important truth.  But the more I thought about his phrase, the more sense it made.  For those of you who don't know, Trippin'  has a new cultural meaning these days.  It means literally: to be freaking out, or to freak out.  To trip. 

At least thats one way to interpret it.  The other way that Christians seem to be trippin' these days is in the area of sin.  When I say trip' in this sense I am really saying fall. I often find myself in this stumbling position when I go to school.  It is very discouraging to be running as hard as you can toward the will of God only to trip upon some stumbling block in your path.  

Although we may trip(fall) in that way, we must not allow ourselves to trip out about it.  As Christians, we can't allow ourselves to become burdened with our failures and with our sinful nature.  

For instance, I personally struggle with lust on a daily basis. Being a young man in an American culture doesn't help much with my natural tendency stumble in this area.  Although this part of my life needs to be under the control of Jesus, I must never forget what the whole point of the Gospel is in the first place.  Christ came to free us from our burden and sin.  I do not need to trip about the fact that I will fall sometimes!  

In fact, the more I dwell upon my failure, the less biblical my attitude becomes.  The result is a Christian who is walking in defeat! WHAT? Doesn't that sound wrong to anyone? If it does, thats because it IS wrong!  Christ is our victory.  We no longer need to try to fulfill the law of God by our own merit and foolish attempts at righteousness. Christ is our righteousness and in Him we are saved from condemnation.  That is a VICTORY! 

The victory that we have over sin in Christ is what draws me to worship Him.  That leads into the second part of what Matt said that day.  Christians need to start walking. Once again, that may sound obvious to many of us. It did to me. But as I thought about walking in the faith, I realized that it is so much more than just going through the motions.  

To walk in the faith is to live a life of victory.  Not a victory that we have won, nor is it a victory that allows us to boast of our own ability or intelligence.  Christ alone has secured His kingdom in our lives.  We had no part in our salvation, nor will we have any part in the finished work of God.  He does not need us to build His kingdom.  Yet, the beautiful part is that He allows us to participate in the construction of it.  

For me it came down to this: Trippin is worrying about me.  When I am the focus things will never go right in the long run.  Matt was right when he said I needed to start Walking.  

As I walk in the faith I see that God picks up the slack in my steps, lengthens my stride, and most importantly of all, is always there to save me when I trip. 

 

In The End

As I was sitting in my english class yesterday, I couldn't help but ask myself why I was even in school. It was senior ditch day and there I was, one of 4 poor souls that for some reason or another couldn't muster the balls to ditch school.  Each and every class consisted of three or four kids that had no other options than school, and me. Yeah, the day sucked.  The only consolation that seemed to deaden the pain was the prospect of going shopping as soon as school was out.  And not just any shopping, shoe shopping. 

Shoe shopping is the best. Of all the articles of clothing that make up an outfit, the shoes make or break the man.  Kicks count.   My best friend picked me up as soon as the bell of freedom rang, and off we went.  My heart thumped as we arrived at the skate shop.  This place always had the best shoes.  In fact, I was so certain that they would have what I wanted that I brought 100 bucks in case I needed more than one pair. Sure enough, as I approached the towering display of sneakers my mouth began to water.  I could see at least five pairs that I would have no problem buying immediately.   

I started calling out sizes. Can I get these Adidas in a 10 1/2?  "No problem man!" The salesman guy could tell that we had come to drop some major cash.  "Agh dude.... don't have em... bummer bro." Big bummer indeed. No problem though, there were still four possibilities left.  I called each and every one of them out to him.  One by one, the guy kept coming back from storage with that same look of epic failure in his face.  This hot spot shoe store did not have a single pair that I wanted in my size. Major let down. I settled for my number six choice, they had them in a 10 1/2.  

After the day was over, I laid in my bed contemplating my job at a local fast food place.  The job was hard, my boss is mean, and the pay is nearly as low as it can go..legally. Just the other night one of my co workers broke the sink off of the wall.  I cant wait to see what my boss has to say to me, the manager of the shift. 

Then it hit me. Each of these intertwined bummers had a purpose.  

To finish the story, because I went to school yesterday I was able to have some one on one time with my struggling english teacher.  I learned that she is struggling in more ways than one. She was recently let go, and is moving to Norway to take care of her sick father.  My heart was broken by her story. I was able to invite her to come to my church so she can be strengthened and prayed for if she was willing.  The look on her face began as bewilderment but quickly changed to relief and hope as I explained to her what it was like in the living room at Metro.  She may soon come to see for herself. 

At the skate shop I was forced to buy shoes I didn't totally love in the beginning.  When I got home I threw them on the table as I grabbed something from the fridge.  My mom took a look at them and quickly complemented me on my ability to pick out the best ones that she had seen in a while. Cool. She liked them.  My brother walked in about 15 minutes later and stopped cold to point out how he thought my shoes were "sick" (awesome).  I took another good look at them and within minutes I was convinced that I had bought the best pair in the store. They were even better than the ones I had previously wanted.  

At work, I realized that I have a specific reason for being there that was not my own.  The people I work with are hurting. Each one of them have come to me for prayer or with questions about who Jesus really was and what He really said.  They trust me, and God has placed me there to teach them and to comfort them in their afflictions, as ugly and as painful as they may be.  

I believe that the disciples had this same feeling of let down followed by glorious revelation as I have had in my life.  They walked and talked with the most loving and mighty man in all of history for three years strait, only to watch Him be tortured and killed brutally before His kingdom could even be established. 

The disciples thought that life had let them down, that Jesus had let them down.  But on the third day He got up out of the grave to remind them once again of His, and their, true purpose.  

All things work together for the good of those who love Him.  

Maybe not in the beginning, but always in the end.  

He Got Up

For most of my life I have struggled with moderate to severe depressive episodes. They often come upon me directly after instances of personal failure or rejection. Yet the worst seemingly come out of nowhere.

The basic episodes that have to do with failure or rejection might seem obvious in their root cause. I have found it to be increasingly true that sin leads to death in and around my life. When I speak of failure, I mean a moral failure. Likewise, when I speak of rejection I mean a rejection from the Holy Spirit to fill me. Both are a direct result of sin within my life and activity. Both hurt deeply.

It is true that sin leads not only to physical death, but to spiritual death as well. And, what is sown in the soul shall be reaped in the body time and time again. The fact is that sin leads to death. There is no way around that fact.

Yet, sin is not what worries mankind. Death is what worries mankind. The reason is this: Man cannot conquer death. No matter what we accomplish during life, death is looming inevitably above our heads.

Why is death so horrifying? All of the good works that I can do, all of the people I can help, all of the love and beauty that is in the world, will mean nothing if death is the end. None of it will mean anything to anyone ultimately, if death continues on as the chief end of nature.

Since the beginning man has been defeated by death and its interminable chains. All of the beauty of the world and creation, held down by the weight of sin. No art could do more than capture the great tragedy. No writer could do any more than articulate the great despair of existence.

Nor can human will could push through the wall of inborn folly and evil.

Since the beginning man has laid on the ground, struck down and utterly beaten by sin, unable to move. This is what I mean when I say that I battle with depression. Many days have gone by where I am simply lost in this fog of terror and spiritual helplessness. Defeat is often the first place I am tempted to head. These are only the minor episodes.

Even still, the real pain has always been somewhere else within mankind. The real pain comes from the feeling that there was always something more they were designed for. Man has been forced to crawl as long as he can remember. Even as the memory of flight then turns to legend, and then from legend to myth, man cannot shake his desire for wings.

Such is the plight of man. Such is my pain.

The beauty is that my Father in heaven cared about that. He cared about it so much that He sent His own son to die instead of me, and to conquer death once and for all. Jesus Christ came to pay the penalty for all sin and to take the final fall. He went down to death itself and paid the ransom for the souls of the world, using Himself as the propitiation.

And once the price was fully paid, He arose from the blackness with the keys to Glory in His mighty hands. Because He did so, He promised life eternal to those who will trust Him.

Depression will come and go. But, the promise of eternal life from the lips of Jesus Christ Himself will never leave me.

How do I know?

When death hit Him, He Got Up.