He Got Up

For most of my life I have struggled with moderate to severe depressive episodes. They often come upon me directly after instances of personal failure or rejection. Yet the worst seemingly come out of nowhere.

The basic episodes that have to do with failure or rejection might seem obvious in their root cause. I have found it to be increasingly true that sin leads to death in and around my life. When I speak of failure, I mean a moral failure. Likewise, when I speak of rejection I mean a rejection from the Holy Spirit to fill me. Both are a direct result of sin within my life and activity. Both hurt deeply.

It is true that sin leads not only to physical death, but to spiritual death as well. And, what is sown in the soul shall be reaped in the body time and time again. The fact is that sin leads to death. There is no way around that fact.

Yet, sin is not what worries mankind. Death is what worries mankind. The reason is this: Man cannot conquer death. No matter what we accomplish during life, death is looming inevitably above our heads.

Why is death so horrifying? All of the good works that I can do, all of the people I can help, all of the love and beauty that is in the world, will mean nothing if death is the end. None of it will mean anything to anyone ultimately, if death continues on as the chief end of nature.

Since the beginning man has been defeated by death and its interminable chains. All of the beauty of the world and creation, held down by the weight of sin. No art could do more than capture the great tragedy. No writer could do any more than articulate the great despair of existence.

Nor can human will could push through the wall of inborn folly and evil.

Since the beginning man has laid on the ground, struck down and utterly beaten by sin, unable to move. This is what I mean when I say that I battle with depression. Many days have gone by where I am simply lost in this fog of terror and spiritual helplessness. Defeat is often the first place I am tempted to head. These are only the minor episodes.

Even still, the real pain has always been somewhere else within mankind. The real pain comes from the feeling that there was always something more they were designed for. Man has been forced to crawl as long as he can remember. Even as the memory of flight then turns to legend, and then from legend to myth, man cannot shake his desire for wings.

Such is the plight of man. Such is my pain.

The beauty is that my Father in heaven cared about that. He cared about it so much that He sent His own son to die instead of me, and to conquer death once and for all. Jesus Christ came to pay the penalty for all sin and to take the final fall. He went down to death itself and paid the ransom for the souls of the world, using Himself as the propitiation.

And once the price was fully paid, He arose from the blackness with the keys to Glory in His mighty hands. Because He did so, He promised life eternal to those who will trust Him.

Depression will come and go. But, the promise of eternal life from the lips of Jesus Christ Himself will never leave me.

How do I know?

When death hit Him, He Got Up.